The Garden

Years ago I went to a beautiful garden in meditation. It was on a plateau on a mountain side in the Himalayas. Surrounded by walls built of natural rocks and the entrance guarded by two huge mountain lions …… I felt safe on all levels and could relax totally. Hence it was possible for me to be fully present and enjoying the moment, the herbs, the flowers, the stones, the butterflies, the trees, the love and the magic. It was my garden and yet I didn’t own it. I was a guest and yet it was my garden. Our energies became one and we were the same. It was my garden and I was part of it …… in a timeless moment and hence in all times. No measuring of time, only pure being …… it reaches into dimensions far beyond time.

About 10 years after I find myself placed in a beautiful and magical garden …. for a while ….. to finish writing this book. If I had hired all the top researchers in the world, they wouldn’t have come up with anything better …… and most likely not as good as this. Because the garden is not the same. It’s not surrounded by walls, it’s not located on a mountain side, it’s not even close to the Himalayas but in New Zealand; there are no lions here but two friendly horses salute me from time to time with a soft prrrrh. How would the researchers ever find this – or a similar – garden for me …. it would never show on the search results list! And yet it is the same garden on all the important characteristics (levels?)

The Universe brought me here …. and I recognized it. It is my garden, and yet not. I don’t own it. I’m here as a guest. But I’m alone in the garden. Our energies have merged ….. and we are one for a time. One on all levels while I’m here …. when I leave we will still be one in my heart and in the spirit. It is a beautiful garden. The little people are around. Magic is ringing in the air like tiny silver bells. I feel the presence of my ancestors. The loving and magical energy is the same as my mountain garden. It’s just like a loved one wearing another dress. It’s the same garden.

I feel gratitude, love, humility and pride by being allowed … and accepted here. I am as safe as anyone can ever be …. because I’m one with the Garden, with the Earth. I can be fully present here, enjoying the moment, the herbs, the flowers, the stones, the butterflies, the trees, the love and the magic.

This garden will soften the things I’m going to write about …. and help me not to be carried away by my strong mind trying to take control. My intension is to share what I’ve learned on this ongoing journey we call life. Share in peace, share with love.

I’ve been following a calling from the stones which led me to leave my old “normal” life and sent me on a journey in the outer world along with a simultaneously inner journey. I wrote a book, Stones on the Road, about some of the experiences I had with the stones. I know many felt it was a bit “hairy”. The stones though, are our first ancestors and it was important for me to open a window for them to the world of humans.

Traveling the world for 6 years has given me much more than experiences with stones.

Nature, people, communities ….. all have they taught me about life …. and hence about myself. Getting to know me has been a major but subconscious focus for me on the way. I once had a coffee mug with a quote from “Peanuts” – “To know me is to love me.” I always felt attracted to that particular mug without understanding in my heart the deeper meaning of the words.

To love myself is selfish ….. that’s what I’ve been told all my life. Put others first. You are strong, you can “afford” to be generous in all aspects. The higher you wanna fly, the deeper to fall.

So am I worthless or am I worthy? ….. an ongoing conflict inside me for many years. My purpose in life was to make other people happy; do things for them; help them in any way; sacrifice; put myself aside …. and it worked well …. I thought!

Serving others added value to this worthless creature.

After many years like this I started feeling empty, like I was turning into a shell. Follow your heart, was the advice I got from well meaning people trying to help me. How could I follow a heart I wasn’t in touch with anymore? There was no contact between me and my heart. I went to different kind of therapists asking them to help me get in touch with my heart. It was the easiest thing in the world, they said. But nothing worked. One day I suddenly became conscious that I was about to loose myself and that I would get a disease – most likely cancer – and die of it …. if I didn’t change direction. I decided to listen to the voice and to start looking for myself ….. not just a part of me – the heart – but the whole me!

The Earth with all her natural beings helped me take the needed steps. About 6 years it took for me to get to know me ….. and the bonus was written on a coffee mug long ago …. I came to love myself. Not the love that is on the expense of others, but the love that is just love, acceptance and respect. I have been embraced by nature and here I learned about the natural lore where we are all equally worthy. Nobody sacrifices themselves because of lower worth. Everybody strives to be the fullest of their being at all times.

In the human world we divide people into losers and winners. In the natural world there are no losers! We are all winners. If everybody involved benefit, be sure it’s right. Manipulation and calculation, greed and envy don’t exist in the real world! …. That’s where I have chosen to live the rest of my life!

…. And see where it takes me …. to this beautiful, magical garden surrounded by little people and butterflies …. for me to sit in tranquility and share my experiences with you. May peace and love be with you at all times.